29th July 2009 - New bike for sale here. Don't miss the Northwest 200 - 16th May 2009. Visit here to see the real costs hidden in our fuel.Find the lowest fuel prices in your area, click here. 10th February 2009... CBR Blackbird for sale! and a cool new road racing site to visit! 25th June 2008... Air Ambulance Rideout '08 pictures have been uploaded! Click here. 1st June 2008... Wanna see some maddness?27th May 2008... Support the fuel protest! Pictures of the Ancestors Toy Run 2007. Great day out guys and very well organised, nice one. 3rd August 2007...Trackdays...you gotta love 'em. (Thanks Ian) Keep up to date with the TT Races with Manx Radio. Didn't make it to the Island this year? Let Road-Ripper take you there for a blast round the TT course. So you've stuffed your pride and joy into a hedge eh? If you're anyway like me you can't afford new parts either...do not fear, let the breakers contact you... www.gissit.com you'll thank me later.   5th May 2007...John Donnan was tragically killed today at the Tandragee Road Races. Details here. Rest In peace - John Donnan 1965 - 2007 (aged 42) 9th September 2006...Darren Lindsay killed in at Killalane Road Races. More info here and here. Northern Ireland short circuit event diary here

7th Mar 2006...Must see website. Microfiche drawings for many makes and models of bike. Visit the Ronayers website.

24th September 2005...Road-ripper.co.uk goes live!

The Blind Man and Blondes

A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a
while, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is
only fair given that you are blind that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters...
"No.. not if I'm gonna' have to explain it five times."

And another... A man appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates.

"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.

"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered.

"Once, on a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota , I came upon a gang of bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him on the head,  kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground."

I yelled, "Now, back off!! Or you'll answer to me!"

St. Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?"

"Just a couple minutes ago." Live well, Laugh often, Love much

And another...

At the gates, St. Peter told Mr Honda, "since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven."
Mr Honda thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God. I have a question for Him."
St. Peter took Mr Honda to the Throne Room and introduced him to God.
Mr. Honda then asked God, "Aren't you the inventor of women?"
God Said, "Ah, yes. Indeed I am".
"Well," said Mr Honda, "Professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your design;
1 - There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion.
2 - It chatters constantly at high speeds.
3 - Most of the rear ends are too soft and have excessive wobble.
4 - The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust.
5 - Plus the monthly down time and aggravation are outrageous, and I don't even wanna start talking about the maintenance costs.
"Hmmmm, you do raise some good points" replied God, "Lets have a wee look." God went to his Celestial super computer, typed in a few things and waited for the results.
After a moment God said, "Well, it may be true that my invention seems to be flawed, but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours." Thanks to Liam M. And another... A blonde biker pushes her bike into a garage and says to the mechanic "I was just riding along and it died on me.Can you have a look at it for me?"

After about 30mins the machanic came out and said "Thought so love, shit in your carbs"

"Oh really" said the blonde..............

........."And how often do I have to do that then?"

Picture the scenario...

You are riding your motorcycle at a constant speed. On your left side is a valley and on your right side is a fire engine travelling at the same speed as you.

In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your bike and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level. Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also travelling at the same speed as you.

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

Answer:
Get off the children's Merry Go Round, you're pissed.Lads....be careful

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman.

Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer."The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large "kegs". Beer is used by female
sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them.A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex.Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several beers, men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women whom they would never normally be attracted. After drinking beer, men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to
them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that "something bad" occurred.At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as "a relationship." In extreme cases,
the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage." Men are much more susceptible to this scam after beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.Please! Forward this warning to every male you know. If you fall victim to this "Beer" scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your
shocking encounter with similarly victimized men. For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" or "fishing clubs" in the phone book.Don't say you weren't warned

Geniuine ebay item, read on...

Shoei RF 700 RF700 Elite Seris Helmet LIKE NEW Item number: 7927433876 Current bid: US $201.99

History: 8 bids (US $75.00 starting bid) Positive Feedback: 99.3% This Helmet is like brand new. I bought it for my wife, but it's to small for her big fat head.You know, it was all a big lie right from the beginning. I asked her if she liked bikes, (i've been riding since i was 9 years old.) She's like "Yeah, I love Motorcycles, they're great!" Now, i'm thinking to myself, this chicks cool, she's hot, has big boobs, and loves motorcycles.Gotta snag this one up quick.Little did i know that as soon as i gave her the engagement ring, all that would change. First, it was a subtle hint, you know, that the wedding's going to be expensive, and that that band costs just as much as my motorcycle. With all these wedding plans going on, i hardly have time to ride my bike. I'm schleping all over the state looking at reception halls, listening to cheesy wedding bands, and picking out floral arrangements. She brings up the fact that i havn't ridden my bike in a while now, (No kidding!! She won't let me out of her sight for more than 5 minutes!) and that maybe i should sell it. Now, that brings a whole lot of tension into the situation. I'm like no way! Then i notice that our sex life has reduced dramatically. A man has gotta do, what he's gotta do, so, i sell the bike, thinking that things will get better. She promises me, that as soon as we get married, she'll get a good job, and then i can get another bike. We get married, and we're having sex everyday. Life is good. The Evil One is looking for work for like, 6 months. I find it hard to believe that she can't find a damn job, but who am i to say? She's just holding out for that Management position she says. To be quite honest, i really don't care, she's cleaning my pipes better than Roto Rooter. Then the kicker...She tells me she's pregnant. All the while i thought she was on the pill! I ask her how this happened, and she said the pill gave her facial hair. (I really couldn't see a difference, after all she is Italian). Fast Foward 9 months...i'm out breaking my back doing manual labor, she's a big, fat, hairy lipped beach ball, with the disposition of a rabid Pit Bull. Nothing i say, or do is good enough for her. The day she gave birth, i thought again, that things will change for the better. WRONG!! Now everythings about the baby. Me, i'm second fiddle. Sex life? Ha! The only time i get some action is when i see her breast feeding the little bastard! I'm going crazy, at least if i had a motorcycle, i could take out some of my frustration. Even the guys at work notice how miserable i've been. One day, my partner rolls up on a brand new bike. I wanted to commit suicide. He knows how bad i wanted another bike. He see's the look in my eye, and asks me if i would like to take it out for a spin Friday night. It was truly the first time i lit up since marrying that bitch. Friday rolls around, i cash my check, and head on over to my partners house. I cruise around for a while, and end up at this little bar on the edge of town. I head up to the bar, place my helmet on it, and order a beer. I look over and see this little hottie chatting it up with her friends. I notice that the eye contact is getting more and more frequent. After a few more minutes, she walks over to me and tells me she just loves motorcycles. That they get her "excited". I ask her if she wants to go for a ride. Her beautifully full lips widen with a pearly white smile. I take that as a yes. I grab her by the hand, and lead her to the bike. She straps on the spare helmet that was on the bike, and away we go. We ride for hours. She taps me on the shoulder, and tells me her apartment is on the next block. Would i want to stop in for a while and have another beer. Who am i to say no? I watch her lead the way, and i can't keep my eyes off of her tight lil' behind. I think back to the days when old hippo ass looked like this. Well, once upstairs, one beer turned into two, and so on. The next thing i know, i'm in bed with her, and she was amazing! It was the best expierence i have ever had. Right then i had an epiphany. I had to be happy. I wasn't going to live a miserable existance for the rest of my life and something had to be done. Long story short, i left my hairy beast of a wife. (She's done good since i left. She remarried an Appliance salesman named Harold.) While i was moving out, i came across the helmet. I don't ever want to be reminded of my miserable past life, so please, make a bid. I have a motorcycle payment to make! The helmet has no scratches, size MED and i would rate it a 9 out of 10 Winning bidder to Pay with PAYPAL ONLY. Winning Bidder to pay all Shipping costs. I ship UPS ONLY. No Zero or Negative Feedback Bidders. Ok guys, First off, i gotta thank everyone for the great Emails. (Especially the Hotties sending me Topless pics. BTW, i never get tired of that!) I gotta get some things out here. ****** This is a no joke auction, so please, don't bid unless your gonna buy the helmet. I really need the money, and i don't think its fair to the people who really want to bid on this. Thnaks!***** Ok, some concerns have been brought up to me in a few of my emails. FIRST! Let me state that this helmet is not CURSED! I have brought in a Poltergeist to "cleanse" the Helmet. I assure you that their will be no left over "Bitch" residue in the helmet when the winning bidder recieves it.I also had the helmet INFRARED SCANNED for cooties, and it passed with flying colors. You have my word as a human being. I would never subject anyone to the hell i went through. SECOND! Many of you have asked for pics of the Ex. Come on now People! Do you REALLY expect me to have any pics of her. I damn near wanted to drink a gallon of Bleach just to clean my mouth out cause i remeber having to kiss her goodnight! If you need a visual, Halloween is coming soon. When the little grubby bastards come trick or treating with there scary masks, times it by 100, and you still won't be close to the UG-LEE-NESS of that Wildebeast. Again, it's been friggin' fun. Mikey Buell A man dies & appears at The Pearly Gates.
"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?. Have you exhibited courage?", St. Peter asks.
"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offers. "Once I came upon a group of Bikers who were bothering a young woman. I told them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So I approached the largest and meanest looking one. I smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground, and told him, 'Now get out of here." St. Peter was visibly impressed. "When did this happen?"
"Just a few minutes ago." A timid little man ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and, upon clearing his throat, asked, "Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied to the parking meter outside?"
A giant of a man wearing biker leathers with his body hair growing out of the seams turned slowly on his stool. He looked down at the quivering little man and said, "It's my dog. Why?"
"Well," squeaked the little man very nervously, "I believe my dog just killed it, sir."
"What?" roared the big man in disbelief. "What in the hell kind of dog do you have?"
"Sir," answered the little man, "It's a four-week-old puppy."
"Bullshit!" roared the biker, "How could your puppy kill my Doberman?"
"It appears that he choked on it, sir." A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to pour everyone a drink on him. Once the bartender has poured everyone a drink the guy asks everyone in the bar to join him in a toast. The guy raises his glass and says, "All bikers are assholes". A guy at the opposite end of the bar says, "hold-on a minute I resent that!" The first guy says, "what's wrong are you a biker?" The second guy replies, "No I'm an asshole!"

When I was young I prayed for a ZXR...Then I realised that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a ZXR and prayed for forgiveness!